In order to save money on hosting my Mastodon instance and leave the place formerly known as Twitter, I’ve decided to put a page here to archive my favorite shitposts from my social media that I’m deleting on those platforms.
Dating
If you like feral opossums
Lyrics wrong in my brain
Watching Post 10 excited
When he clears sloppy drains
Minions
Me: “Why do all my friends stop responding to my messages?”
Also me: “Do you think Minions would be red if they were full of blood instead of piss?”
Calendars
My brain: “Elsa”
…because Elsa = That Girl in Frozen = TGIF = Thank Goodness it’s Friday
Hunger
One of the cats was soliciting treats and I said “who’s a hungry boy?” and then in an M. Night Shyamalan-esque twist, my stomach growled and I realized that I was the hungry boy.
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